Once upon a time, I was a more-or-less “normal” person. I worried too much at times about certain things, I would over-think certain things, but there was nothing clinical about the condition.
Then the world broke, and I almost didn’t die. Follow that link, and you can see the experience that led me to anxiety, and panic attacks on the regular. The event itself from that night didn’t cause the panic attacks, I don’t think — not dealing with it properly because I was too busy, did.
And the anxiety got horrible, and panic attacks happened at the grocery store, at work, while driving through tunnels. I was terrified of almost-not dying and only began to trust that I would be okay as time went on. I realized that I had had panic attacks in the past — usually stemming from my fear of dying from one of my food allergies (or really, just having the sensation from food allergies), but also Freddy Krueger (oh, yes, I went there).
But as I was now deep into my fears about dying and feeling weird, the observer part of me began to trace the brain connection made during a panic attack. As I began to heal, I could still see the brain connection, but it’s like you had to get past a firewall to get there, and as I had done things to relieve my stress and anxiety in general in my life, the panic attacks were that much harder to access.
I went to talk therapy which didn’t remove the fear, but reconnected me to meditation; cognitive-behavioral therapy, which really focuses recognizing the things you can control; the five-senses theorem, which states that by engaging in your senses, you’re brought to the present moment and therefore stop the looping of your mind; and Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR), which helps reprogram your brain and emotions by reliving your crappy moments in a safe place.
I would looooove to learn EMDR, but right now it’s not available for therapists like me. It reminds me of tapping, in a way, only by way of your eyes instead of the physical and energetic parts of your body.
Here’s a list of things you can try to keep yourself out of the loop of anxiety, or stop panic attacks when one is trying to happen. At least, these are the things I did and do.
In the moment of the connection of a panic attack being made…
🔅List – in my mind, I would list herbs, starting with the letter ‘A’. This helped because I’m familiar enough with herbs to know many off-hand, but I also had to work a little harder with some letters. You could list games, names of people you know, anything.
🔅Name – look at all the things you can touch, especially if you’re in a room somewhere, and start to name and describe them to yourself. Cabinet – white; floor – wooden; banana – speckled yellow.
🔅Touch — FEEL what lies against your skin, FEEL, what is underneath your fingertips. Name what you feel. Describe what you feel.
🔅Listen – hear a sound, and name what it is. This, however, would backfire sometimes, as the sound I heard was my HEART. And then I’d freak out more!
🔅Don’t fight it. Observe it. Which leads me to the time that I didn’t fight my panic attack. I was at work, and while I recognized what was happening, I was very close to telling my client I needed to step outside for a moment to catch my breath. Instead of fighting it, I let it happen, and looked at it in wonder — (listen and feel) the faster and louder heartbeat, (feel and see) the slight shaking of my hands, (listen and feel) my labored breathing… and then it went away. I felt like an Olympic Champion afterwords.
🔅Listen to calming music… like Abbey Road.
🔅Move! – once during a forming panic attack at a doctor’s office, I found myself doing yoga asanas, really aligning into the poses. Moving and breathing helped relax me. I have wiggled my toes or tapped on body parts to bring myself into the moment and out of my mind. Use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) if you know it.
A nasty habit I formed over the past year is pinching myself (feel). I will wake up in a state of panic during the first 45 minutes of sleep and am worried I’m dead, worried I forgot to take some medicine to keep me alive, worried I’m about to be trapped in mind…all fun things.
The pinching turned to BITING, unfortunately, so now I’ll wear socks on my hands if I’m going to have a night like that. For awhile I was afraid of sleeping because of it — but I got over that! I’ve accepted it, figured out how to move on with it. I do not fight it. I have a catch phrase to repeat to myself upon waking, when I know it’s going to happen (like a color, or something silly), or have the gloves on.
Outside of a panic attack (AKA – remember to TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF!):
🔅meditation
🔅yoga
🔅EMDR (with a therapist)
🔅CBT (with a therapist)
🔅hiking, walking, running, dancing — movement, preferably outside!
If you have anxiety and/or panic attacks, feel free to add your own suggestions!
