Tag: bodywork

Regarding Sexual Predators, Inappropriate Conduct, and Massage Therapy

This is going to be a long one, so make sure you have proper time to dive in. And it’s not-so-swell.

I probably should have started advocating for this with my writing a long time ago. It’s not like me not talking about this is making it go away.

I mean, just last year, the guy I pawned off on others contacted me six months later and again requested my services. Why? He liked my “vibe”. Dude… I wouldn’t work with you before, I’m not going to now, either. His job? Professional boudoir photographer who likes to empower women.

As if.

PLEASE NOTE! THIS POST IS GRAPHIC AND MAY INDUCE ANXIETY AND PTSD SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

There once was this young military kid who made references to his time in Asia on more than one occasion. We’d laugh about it, I’d remind him that ‘we don’t do that here’, and we’d move on. Oddly enough, we were both seemingly genuine in our goodbyes when he was shipped off to a new location. (Thank God, though, right?)

Or how about the guy who (sweetly) brought the entire studio coffee because he thought he and I were “friends” after a handful of sessions? I made sure to make mention of my boyfriend (now husband) at the time. Sorry! Not available!

Or the guy who kept claiming he was hot and needed his sheet a different way. I think this guy was a cop. I told him he had to stay draped. (Policy’s policy.)

How about the jerk who recently texted late at night and asked if I did Karsai. I had to look it up–not amused. I told him to seek a medical doc and if he ever contacted me or my affiliates again, we’d consider it harassment. (I naturally told him a medical doc because clearly he needed a shrink.)

Wow, I just had another memory kick in! A dude who blared his own music during his massage! Stupid me was like, ‘sure, of course you can play your own music’. This jerk made more than one reference to massaging the inside of his leg. I let him know he should probably seek clinical care if he needed help on that part of his muscle. Sometime in the future, he was again in the studio and I immediately made myself scarce. Someone else booked him another massage with me. I magically became unavailable for that booked massage and had to cancel it.

He did not rebook with anyone else.

Jeez. How many times have things been inappropriate that I don’t remember? And why the hell is this a part of my job?

Here’s the latest doozy! The asshat I banned in 2020 is back! WTF!

Here’s how I see it:

This particular prick groomed me. I was always leery around him, but I’m a professional and kept him as a client for over a year. Over a year! Looking back, at the time of the infraction, he had stopped talking about his wife and kids. I swear one time I saw him check out my ass. During the pandemic, he even reached out to my Facebook account and asked if I would massage him at his house. I reminded him that that was highly illegal at that point; no freaking way. (No way, anyway!) He would email my business account, too.

Right before the infraction I regrettably had offered some personal information that I was about to get married–this was only to imply that I would be out of town for awhile, so if he wanted an appointment sometime before then, he should go ahead and make one. Rereading old emails, he did offer me an early congratulations, and said he’d like to see me one more time but if he couldn’t, he understood, and he wished me the best.

I was literally just telling him I’d be out of town for awhile. Holy crap — this was his response: I guess I didn’t know how to take it at 1st. I would love to continue to see you! You’re the best massage therapist I’ve ever had! So I’ll book for Saturday & hope it works out. He later went on to say he really needed it, and my dumbass told him to take a rest if he was working out too much! (Guess he had been telling me about his manly weightlifting. Eye roll.)

OH! This is so freaking infuriating!!!

So the day of the infraction: I took him into a room he’d never been in before because we had another therapist working at the time. This room is a beautiful room with lit salt panels on the walls, any color of your choosing.

My guess is he took it as special for him, not special in general. (It’s a damn lovely space.)

He clearly missed the point that the other massage room was in use, so we needed somewhere else to go!

WARNING! WARNING! ABOUT TO GET GROSS AF!

At any rate, I was in denial about what was going on. He was often ticklish. He often adjusted himself while lying prone. He often “responded” that way when he was supine. In school, we are taught that this is normal and there’s no reason to shame a man for “relaxing”, right? Maybe it shouldn’t be normalized. Maybe that’s more patriarchal bullshit.

And so this particular day he adjusted himself for quite a bit, so long that I almost said something to him about it. I turned away from his lower half to continue working on his back, jabbing into the QL muscle, into his traps, trying to come up a with a solution to make. it. stop! Before I could enact any sort of plan, though, his apparent need to stop “readjusting” must have kicked in.

So I convinced myself that it had never happened.

Even so, when I discovered disgusting wet sheets upon his departure, I was floored. FLOORED!

Is that really what happened? What the hell was this guy’s problem?

It is still etched into my memory how another person in the studio asked about his massage while the predator was waiting to pay. I can see his smile, the acknowledgment of another great massage from me. The God Blasted NERVE.

I was freaking weak afterwards, calling my now-husband in disbelief. I contacted the studio owner and she graciously let me ban the psycho in my own way, which was an email:

Dear (Name):
In lieu of what happened during or after your massage session on Saturday, October 3, 2020 at 10:45AM, our therapeutic and professional relationship has ended. This isn’t the first time I’ve suspected something, and while I’m not sure if your actions on the table and subsequent wet sheets left behind on Saturday were nefarious on your part, it doesn’t matter; this is a clear violation of the client / licensed massage therapist professional relationship, and trust is now broken as ethical boundaries on your part have been crossed. I am a professional through and through, and this behavior insults my intelligence and the profession at large. The owner of the studio is being CCed on this email. The other therapists who work at the studio also know what happened. This event is well-documented. There is no need for a response, and this email effectively ends all future communication with me, and all future communication with everyone affiliated with (Name of Studio). 

Look at me trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Aren’t I kind?

Rereading through old emails, he also had apparently asked at some point to start facing upwards because he really wanted his back to be the last part to be massaged. Translation, I’m a pervert?

Those last emails between us, I can clearly see a pattern of me still working with him, but also trying to break away. Maybe he knew it.

But anyway, on April 18, 2024, he deign call the studio asking for me to return his call to schedule a massage. Are you kidding me? This is over three and a half years later!

The studio texted me and said to give this guy a call to book an appointment. Naturally, the person who took the call knew nothing about all of this, but guess what? Everyone should now! I was very graphic about why the situation with this jackass needed to be brought up to the studio owner. His number has been blocked, his account is flagged, he cannot book appointments on his own.

I contacted a local place for legal advice and was informed that I should file a police report. I spoke with non-emergency and dispatch and it seems like everyone is heavily encouraging me to file a restraining order, which I might just do that, even if he doesn’t reach out again. Any which way, I filed the police report and it’s in writing and documented that he has reached out to me via the studio after being banned almost four years ago.

What can we do to help STOP this shit?

As a massage therapist, I have the damn right to do my job safely and effectively without repercussions. We are professionals. We are in healthcare. A lot of us are licensed. We train in human anatomy, human psyche and ethics. We help with pain management, increased mobility and a million other things. I personally do energy work as well.

In our training, we need to be given phone numbers to call if something happens. We need local massage advocate groups. We need law enforcement’s positive support in addition to PD hunting down human traffickers and illegitimate studios. We need the healthcare industry to finally acknowledge us as a part of preventative and reactive care. Health insurances need to cover massage, just like most cover chiropractic.

We have to speak out about this shit. We need to speak out about our experiences and share them. We need to blast our friends and family who make inappropriate comments. We need to blast Hollywood and the general media anytime they depict us in the wrong light.

I’m not one for censorship, but enough is enough. Just look at the bullshit I’ve had to endure in almost fifteen years of practice–and this is just what I recall off of the top of my head!

Until advocates and their family and friends speak up to help fix this (not cure it, fix it), this abuse will stay the same. This is NOT OKAY.

It is not too big to change. I don’t care how it was in the past. This is literally how change happens! Start today. If you mention this post, I guarantee someone you know will make an off-color remark.

It is your job to correct them. Help me out, help your sister, your wife, your aunt Sarah, help your own therapist.

Trust me, no massage therapist wants to be put in these situations. Nobody wants to feel unsafe in their chosen profession.

We just want to help people.

And if the asshat who just called me happens to be reading this — stay the hell away.

Actually, all of you asshats out there. Stay the hell away.

RESOURCES: ABMP * Respect Massage * Sexual Assault Hotline

Taking Your Yoga Practice to the Next Level

Photo Credit: Avrielle Suleiman via Unsplash

By Guest Blogger Zack Spring

Taking Your Yoga Practice to the Next Level

Practicing yoga is a wonderful way to improve your balance, increase your flexibility, and develop your core strength. It is also very beneficial for your mind as it helps you be more aware and focused. So if you’re trying to incorporate more practices into your busy life, here are three strategies you should implement right now, courtesy of Nani Lotus Bodywork. 

Create a Stress-Free Zone

Practicing yoga is best done in a quiet and comfortable environment. If you feel that your house is too chaotic to really get into a deep state of relaxation, or too messy to be able to fully engage in mindfulness meditation and really obtain any benefit from your practice, consider decluttering a space just for yourself. 

Find a spot in your home where you’ll have enough room to stretch out, as far away from the hustle and bustle of the common areas as possible. Turn that spot into a calming sanctuary by removing anything that doesn’t belong there and organizing the space so that you won’t have any visual distractions during your practice. 

You can paint the walls in a color that relaxes or inspires you, and even add drapes, room-darkening shades, or blinds if you prefer to practice yoga by candlelight. The idea is to create a space you want to spend time in, where you can be fully focused on your breath and your flow.           

Carve Time Out for Practice

If you work from home, it’s easy to forget about taking breaks throughout the day. But spending all your time hunched over your desk – or worse, slouching on the couch while typing on your laptop keyboard – will do a number on your back, neck, and shoulders. So make sure to break up your workday by incorporating yoga exercises into your routine. 

Take a few minutes to practice poses that promote good posture and strengthen your core. Not only will it be good for your body, but it will be great for your mind as well. You’ll have better focus and clarity, and regular practice can even lead to better emotional balance and resilience. Stepping away from your desk for a handful of minutes and taking a few cleansing breaths or doing some yoga stretches may be all it takes to give you a renewed boost of energy that will help you get through the day. 

You can also set up an appointment with Nani Lotus Bodywork for guided yoga, massage, or reiki to refresh your body and mind.

Make Use of the Latest Technologies

Digital technologies have allowed us to take our practice anywhere, and they can even let us learn new techniques from the comfort of our own homes. If you don’t have time to go to a studio, you can sign up for online yoga classes and virtually meet up with a teacher. 

Look for a teacher that is not only passionate about yoga but is also able to clearly explain how to direct your body for every asana. Your yoga teacher should be safety-conscious and ask you if you have suffered an injury before starting a class. 

You can also download apps that will keep track of your progress and monitor your sessions as you practice. Choose an app that is easy to use, has valid and current information about poses and their benefits, and that will allow you to give and receive feedback. Some apps even suggest reading materials and videos you may enjoy and learn from, as well as healthy foods and supplements that can enhance your practice.      

Let Tech Enhance Your Yoga Practice

Yoga offers many benefits for the body and the mind. So find the time and space to practice regularly. And take advantage of the latest technologies to help you maintain your mental and physical health!

Zack Spring works as a tech consultant which requires him to travel frequently. He also enjoys running and cycling – staying active as possible. He created TravelFit.info to encourage his readers to stay active while traveling.

Continuing Ed Topics: Pain

This post wraps up the current series of continuing education, although I’m sure the next time I need to renew my license, I’ll have another series of the same.

Today’s topic is a great one, from a human perspective, from a bodywork perspective—pain! 

Pain is such a complicated and fascinating facet of existence. The word ‘pain’ is derived from Greek and means punishment or penalty. The continuing ed class I took was slightly dated–from 2013 I believe–so it goes without saying that the statistics from the class have since been updated. Yet, I assure you, the sentiment is going to be the same.

Here are the stats compiled for that 2013 class:

  • Pain is the number one reason why people go see doctors, and also the most common reason for seeking out alternative and complementary treatments.
  • In 2011, the Institute of Medicine reported that 100 million Americans reported chronic pain and that the price tag associated with said pain, annually, was $635,000,000. You know that price has just gone up.
  • 100 billion aspirin tablets are used annually in the world.
  • The shape and color of pain tablets significantly change the effectiveness of the drug.
  • Here’s a fun one to ponder: people over 60 tend to have less pain than those under 60.
  • Talk therapy and back therapy both help with back pain…statistically about the same.
  • Pain was considered a spiritual punishment prior to the 1600s. Only then did Rene Descartes attribute pain to tissue damage.

This model of tissue damage being the only source of pain creates a wall when chronic pain is compared to acute pain. With acute pain, you can usually point fingers to the source of the issue. When you remove the issue, pain theoretically goes away. 

Chronic pain usually doesn’t have a straight line connecting multiple dots. It typically has many lines creating a crazy pattern, thus making this type of pain unpredictable. Even if you remove all that seems to be causing the pain, the pain may not resolve. (This also makes me think of how you can cure something but not heal it, and vice versa.)

These facts lead to a rather large and looming factor about pain: Pain is an illusion. (But so is reality, right???)

I’m not sure about you, but this one sits sort of -eh- with me. But… as stated in the course packet for the class I took, “Tissue damage is not necessary or sufficient for pain.” 

From a personal bodywork perspective, I cannot tell you how many times–almost on a weekly basis–people will present with the same feel of the tissue. It could be a tightness, a knot, a collection of aggravated muscles–but one client will be miserable and the other one will tell me s/he feels great.

You know how much I love the brain. A client and I were just talking about the pain impulse coming only from the brain and not from the tissue or affected area at all. What then? (Ok, we know this can’t be the only way, just like the other way isn’t conclusive, either.)

There’s a study from 2004 (Derbyshire) that states “Brainwave patterns in people who think they are receiving painful stimulus but aren’t are almost identical to brainwaves of people actually receiving painful stimulus”.

The plot thickens…

We’ve all heard about phantom limb pain… again… our friend, the brain.

Under this umbrella, it kind of does look like the brain is causing the pains and not the other way around! It’s receiving the sensory input from the affected area, but depending on context, the person receiving it, memory, cellular memory… only then does the brain decide whether or not the sensory input painful.

Here’s the thing. And I’m not going to go into the particular population that likes pain–that’s another topic–but for the most part, we don’t like pain. We stray away from it. We do things to keep ourselves from being in pain.

Pain often alerts us when something is WRONG and needs attention. It keeps us from making more damage by asking us to change our behavior (like touching something hot). It can activate healing by encouraging us to get care (massages, chiropractic, etc). 

But. Pain can stop being of use when it’s no longer necessary for those responses.

According to this class, it’s believed that that brain processes pain like an emotion. Whether or not something reads as good or bad is an emotional assessment. Apparently brain studies have suggested that the midbrain is affected when something is painful, much like an emotion affects the midbrain. Pain can also be activated by the upper brain–for instance, if anxiety is an issue, pain can be perceived as worse.

The point of the class, I think, is that by observation or learning about pain, pain can be changed. There are studies suggesting that those who are invested in studying pain have less of it. If you can understand where it is coming from, it can lose its hold on you (whether or not you still feel it).

Of course, there’s the issue of chronic pain leading to brain conditions like depression, hypochondria, aforementioned anxiety, lack of sleep, cognitive impairment among others… which of course… can make pain worse.

It’s a slippery slope. I think the best way to deal with pain from a bodyworker’s perspective is honestly just to be attentive to the needs of the client. Offer validation by listening to the client and then palpating the affected area. Hopefully the combination of hearing the client as well as actively working the tissue is enough to offer even a tiny part of relief as part of a whole care regimen.

Thoughts about your own pain?

In Closing

Interestingly enough, when I typed in pain to find an image suitable for this post, the first images were all of emotional pain! And because of this emotional pain, these people were tightened into balls…which restricts movement..which can cause physical pain!

I’ve also purchased additional textbooks on the matter, so don’t be surprised if I talk about this fascinating topic again.

Thanks for reading!

Continuing Ed Topics: Brain Waves

Oh, you know I had to go there. I love the brain; it fascinates me like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again–bet I was a neuroscientist in a past life!

So let’s talk about the lovely placenta-looking mass (yes, as gross as it seems, you know I’m speaking the truth) that resides in our head. It operates in different brain wave types — you’ve got beta, alpha, theta, and delta.

Delta is the slowest frequency; this is where we are having dreamless sleep, or perhaps deep meditation. This is where the body heals at a cellular level. Theta moves faster, and is where we are asleep or deeply relaxed, but vivid imagery can come into play. Alpha is still faster, but the person can be calm and relaxed while still attentive to the outside world.

Now let’s bring this back to bodywork.

Beta is what is present when a client appears for the session. The fastest mover and shaker of the brain waves, these beta waves will express your client as excited, perhaps even tense. Through bodywork, the goal is to achieve a slower oscillation of the brain’s impulses.

What if the client (or you) speaks during the entirety of the session? Here’s the thing. Plenty of people love to talk during a session. Plenty of people never peep out a word. Sometimes someone will speak during their session; other times this same person will fall asleep the very next time.

Regardless if the client is talking throughout the session, his/her body will still sink into alpha waves. This is why, for the most part, whenever you leave a bodywork session, you’re going to walk away more relaxed than when you started. Even if you chatted the whole time, even if you had a hard time relaxing.

There are ways to try to induce slower brain waves in your client–and I think this is a really fascinating approach to bodywork. As a bodyworker, I tend to follow my client’s lead for the day and provide whatever they need/want in that moment.

But if a client is quiet, I think I’ll approach the next massage I give from a brain-perspective!

According to Erik Dalton in his article 1Give Your Bodywork a Brain Wave Boost, there are specific techniques that can help induce these states. (And even if you yourself aren’t a bodyworker, you could always ask a friend or partner to try these techniques on you!)

  • While the client is supine (face-up), use a slow, rhythmic breath as you massage their sub-occipital muscles (the short little buggers who lie just at the bottom of your head).
  • Use slow, lower back techniques such as taking the elbow to strip across the lowest part of the back at the hip line while the other hand is placed on the opposite side of the back.
  • Push down on the top of the sacrum while sliding/gliding the forearm gently up the spine

I think adding a spinal flush (which is little friction circles along the spine, but not just a massage technique but also an energetic one) would be a nice touch as well.

Dalton also suggests using talk to let a client know that their muscles are relaxing. (I think I have a tendency of sharing this anyhow.) He also will help direct his client to breathe more slowly, by either verbal encouragement or “shadowing” the client’s breathing to help slow it down.

By simultaneously stimulating proprioception through tactile stimuli and interoception (awareness of their internal sensation) through cueing, the client is able to embody a healthier, deeper brain wave state. The moment a client is touched brainwaves begin to change.

2Dalton, Erik

Ahhhh, the amazing power of touch!

1,2 Information taken from July/August 2022 edition of Associated Bodywork & Massage Professionals magazine.

Continuing Ed Topics: Emotions

This next blog post in regards to continuing education topics is broader than the first topic. Not only does it relate to massage therapists as practitioners, it also relates to the human condition at large.

The big question is: are emotions contagious?

In short, the answer is yes. While, yes, we are spirits inhabiting a body as experience, it’s safe to say that our brain is also always creating an emotion during the experience. ANY experience. ALL experiences.

A point made during the course was that even being rational is considered an emotion. Upon researching the lovely web, I found that ‘rational’ is actually considered a category for emotions. Some emotions are rational, some are irrational. I’m not sure how that can even be because things become rational or irrational due to judgment, and judgment is usually formed because of an emotion…

I digress.

The class teaches that we are never not without emotion, and that emotion is what drives us for thought or movement. Emotions are what keep us alive; they’re used as signals for other animals. Threat oftentimes drives emotions.

Braintively speaking (see what I did there?), emotions are tied to the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) as well as the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight).

Apparently there was this terrible study where the sympathetic nervous systems were severed in cats to see how they responded to stimuli. The study was trying to prove that organs and/or the sympathetic nervous system generated emotion… However, these poor kitties still had emotion even with it being severed.

There was another study of when epinephrine was given to human subjects to see if the epinephrine caused an emotional response. Nope. Picking up on emotions of others in the room is what caused an emotion in the subjects, not the hormone.

According to a Psychology Today article in 2010, emotions were considered cognitive appraisal and body perception. It stated that not only were emotions contagious, but so were behaviors. I think we all have personal experiences with both.

Why does this matter to massage therapists? So much is communicated through touch. I think people come to see us not just because of how much we can retrain muscle tissue or neural impulses to help them relax, but also because, as calming practitioners, our clients literally catch the emotion we are emitting, like a signal.

You can read my first post about continuing education topics here.