My Month with Jane

Please note: This has nothing to do with Grace and Frankie or Jane’s latest cancer diagnosis and subsequent remission; this conversation organically, and very much at random, occurred one day while my mom was sitting on my couch. From there, I realized Jane was very much alive, well, and still in the news. It was also a great reminder that I need to watch Grace and Frankie.

Ok–so it’s currently the middle of January and I’ve had this very random, very hilarious idea. It has just occurred to me that Jane Fonda and her workouts were almost definitely a baby-sitter for me as a child. After my mom and I started talking about the workout videos, she pulled one of our favorites up on YouTube.

Jane Fonda’s New Workout from 1985 is still around for rollicking fun via Amazon, or you can watch it with interruptions on YouTube.

And you guessed it. I have decided to spend a month with Jane.

These tidbits of advice, the intonations, oh my goodness, I’m laughing so hard here. The vibrant colors! The teased hair! The half shirts, tight shorts, leg warmers! My mom and I remember this stuff VERBATIM. We are honestly quoting from the video!

The Plan: weekly workouts with Jane starting at the end of January/early February. A write-up about each half hour spent with her.

I’m terribly excited.

Week One

Not only did I have the muscle memory for the leaning, swaying and kicking, but the music was pumping through my head like it never left. My cats looked at me like I was insane.

I pretty much kept up with the short workout, which is amazing considering I’m fairly out of shape and 9,000 years old now. As a lanky 7 – 12 year old kid, I had struggled tagging along with these athletic geniuses. I definitely felt more secure and stable in my body as I hoe-downed, Rover’s Revenged and curled my tail up like a scorpion… At least something positive has come with 30+ additional years!

But I’m not going to lie–afterwards, I felt shaky as hell!

Week Two

Um, yeah. So while I only did that one workout last week with our dear Jane, it STAYED with me for about half a week. No kidding. My calves, my obliques, my arms even. My God, had she let me rest my arms at all? It was crazy. I couldn’t believe how sore I was.

This time when I sang along with Leslie Lilien (try googling her; she’s done an excellent job at hiding) and I “did it”, I was reminded of the exercises I didn’t like as a child; they’re still hard for me to do now. While, as a massage therapist, I can appreciate the use of tackling inner thigh strength as part of a whole-leg regimen, regular me keeps questioning in my head about Jane’s intentions.

I don’t need that muscle strengthened, that inner leg lift is an impossible task! Why the hell are we doing it? On both sides?! Jane, Jane, Jane. Shaking my damn head.

Overall, though, this exercise routine really is affecting my WHOLE body! I’m running in circles, squatting; I’m crunching and scrunching, popping every vertebrae of my C-spine for a warm-up.

But–what’s with that the calf stretch at the beginning of the session? My massage therapist brain is cringing. This body is far too cold to try and lengthen my achilles tendon and double-headed gastroc at this point in the workout. I’m afraid my legs are going to snap and that will be the end of me and Jane.

Body, warm up fast!

If I didn’t know the routine from years of practice as a chid, I wouldn’t be cued in enough about what to do. As someone who has a hard time following routines, even WITH instructions, this would generally be extremely frustrating.

However. This warm-up, aerobics and leg lifting is a part of my DNA so I could do it with my eyes shut. Luckily, terrycloth headbands are not a part of my DNA, but I’m not gonna lie–I do have a pair of black leg warmers at the ready.

Week Three

Ok — I totally missed this week. It was my birthday week and chaotic. Sorry, Jane.

Week Four

Can I tell you how much I’ve fallen in love with this workout? I’m not in pain afterwards at all like I first was, and man, I still dislike some of the things she’s doing with my inner thighs and lack of stamina is a real_thing, but like I said before: This workout is moving and strengthening so many different parts of my body that I feel SEEN and HEARD as an individual.

Good Lord, Jane. Thank you for seeing and hearing me.

Final Thoughts

There are soooo many workout videos available via streaming these days, it’s nice to know you can go back home and still get a full body workout. I have high hopes I will fit in some more of her workouts here in the near future. Maybe I can even conquer one of her hour long sessions?

Upon writing this post, I saw that other people had been doing Jane’s videos over the past few years or so and writing about it. It brings me endless joy to know that I’m not the only one out there who is, even after all this time, bringing Jane into my living room.