allison keli – Page 7 – Swellness Vibes

Anecdotes & Book Thoughts, Part I: Whole Brain Living by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. (TAKE TWO!)

|Please note, this was originally posted on September 4, 2022, but got deleted. Here it is again, in its entirety. Thank you for your patience.|

***Part II will happen after I finish reading the book!***

I couldn’t tell you how I initially found out about Jill Bolte Taylor’s My Stroke of Insight. What I do remember, though, is that when I read it, I had this bubble expand around me that I was able to infiltrate with mySelf, resounding in an audible ahhhhhh.

That’s the colorful way to say I was hooked on all things brain.

In short, Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain scientist, had a stroke and was able to experience it from a trained doctor’s perspective. The part of her brain that had the stroke was on the left side, and she had to fight to stay connected to her persona, her “me”, her division from the rest of the world surrounding her. Due to this experience of losing the divisive side of her brain and completely connecting to the one-ness of everything, she felt compelled to share her thoughts back in 2008. And now, she has a new book called Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life. (Well, from 2021 that is.)

Now let’s talk about me. Moving to 2018, the year I almost didn’t die. It’s a long story, one that still has holes as far as I’m concerned, but very near the time (the summer before) my son was about to start preschool, I almost fainted. For no reason.

However, during the experience, I thought I was dying. A part of my head was black, even though I could see with my eyes. I felt weird — not dizzy. It was as if my blood had reversed course, as a cat having its hair stroked opposite its natural growth. My blood almost felt cooling, or at least the opposite of what it normally feels. Once I calmed down, I could sense surges of energy dissipating as whatever was happening was also ending.

I thought I had had a stroke.

In my late 30s at the time, and generally healthy-ish, there was really no reason for me to be having a stroke. I did take a joy-ride on an ambulance after “The Event” as I call it, and an EKG was done on me. This found a heart issue I didn’t know I had, or rather, I knew I had, but hadn’t named. Blood tests revealed no stroke (but we all know there’s really more than one way to tell if you’ve had a stroke), and at any rate, I was told to drink water and follow-up with my doctor.

An EMS guy told me it sounded like a panic attack. I was confused, because I thought it was purely physical-medical, and the EMS guy was telling me it was psychological. I later developed awful anxiety, and DID have panic attacks after The Event. However, they were very different than what happened to me that night I almost didn’t die.

(Side notes: I’m not going to delve into this topic here, but I’m assuming being a young-ish female came into play with that assessment from the medic, even as he, himself, had had panic attacks in his life. And of course, I understand that psychological is also brain-science, but again — not going to delve into that topic here.)

So back to The Event. I remember a blackness, but not with my eyes.. it’s the only way to describe it. I felt disconnected from everything. All of my training in yoga, meditation, reiki, etc. seemed useless, because here I was, dying, and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop myself from disconnecting. I don’t remember what I told my poor, young, impressionable son, but to say it didn’t affect him would be naive.

It was the upper right side of my head that was black.

So, it is with GREAT interest that I found out Bolte Taylor had written a new book, dividing the brain into four characters. Needless to say, I did a lot of googling about brains and strokes and fainting and all of that after The Event. But reading about these four different characters is so telling, I think, because the part of my head that was black is what Bolte Taylor calls Character 4.

The upper echelon of my right head (brain) had been dark. According to the author, this right upper echelon is connected to the flow. Assuming my other characters were still “online”, the ME in me, it makes sense that I felt so severely disconnected and thought I was dying. There was a definite disruption to the flow, to the sense of awe and connectedness. I was left alone with ME.

My “vision” came back as I sat against my stove while sitting on the floor. I was fully immersed back into my reality, and this is when I felt the final energy surges. I was afraid it was going to happen again, and this is when I had my now-husband call 911.

I fainted once in high school. I stood up too quickly, and woke up on the floor. I’ve had a heart condition since I was born (nothing to worry about, unless something else happens) but the other diagnosis in 2018 was new.

Bolte Taylor refers to Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell in her text. In a way, everyone is saying the same thing, and it makes sense that a neuroscientist would liken these human experiences to the brain.

She calls humans “feeling creatures who think rather than thinking creatures who feel”. She claims that the brain cells in our Character 4s are a “neuroanatomical junction between experiential physical life” and Character 3s “boundless consciousness of the universe”. Our 4s are where our spiritual beings — our souls, I suppose — create this physical experience.

It really makes sense then, how disconnected I felt from “the feeling of the cosmos, the sensation of an all-pervading experience of deep inner peace and love” because my Character 4 went offline for some reason. My now-husband and I joke about how dark my “death” had been, but that’s because I wasn’t dying at all.

So whether or not I shut down my own brain, or I did have a mini-stroke, doesn’t really matter so much to the experience itself. For these philosophical purposes, it doesn’t change the fact that what Bolte Taylor describes as Character 4 is what in my horrifying experience was missing.

She claims that Character 1 and 2 are responsible for creating the separateness of ourselves from everything that exists. These left brain parts are unaware of the electromagnetic fields around and within us because it is their job to keep us separate. Considering we live in a left-dominated sphere of existence, it only makes sense that anything right-brain is considered woo-woo.

For those who want to make “woo-woo” topics pseudo-science (meaning completely fake, invalid and not real), this Ph.D., this brain doctor, is quick to say she doesn’t understand that mindset, as science is literally the tool used to understand the things we do not know. The scientific method, however, is linear, and unfortunately, it would be naive to think that all things in existence can be measured that way.

She claims that joy is the main experience of Character 3, and that it helps dissolve fear that exists in the left brain. She claims the left brain is the “master of practice”, and right brain “makes the magic”.

This seems like a good stopping point in my word vomit on the topic. Her book is broken into sections, and we are almost at the end of Part II where she discusses how to use the acronym BRAIN to get all characters online at one time to make informed decisions in your life.

Such a unique way to conquer how we create the worlds we live in!

A Novel for Bodyworkers/Yogis/Magic Lovers

A little bit of self-promotion here.

I wrote a book about a bodyworker. Scenes take place in yoga studios, dojos and meditation rooms. There are crystals, runes, reiki, and elixirs.

While the story itself was therapeutic to write, the fun came in describing the world we holistic health people know and love. I call BS when BS needs to be called, I call confusion when Destiny vs Free Will is on the mind of our characters, and sneak in some recipes at the back of the book.

Louise Hay vs Julia Cannon

When I had my QHHT <quantum healing hypnosis therapy> session (read about it here), my sister-in-law handed me a book the daughter of Dolores Cannon had written. As always with receiving a book, I was excited to explore its contents.

Initially, upon learning what the book was about, I was thinking it would be similar to the Louise Hay Heal your Body book. Hay’s book is a great little companion to learning about various body parts, its dysfunctions, and what could theoretically be causing the problems. (I’m not going to lie — stress is the culprit of most dis-ease, right?) I even hand this book out sometimes to my Reiki students because I think it’s such a great addition to the conversation. (Mind you — Hay has written a lot more detailed books as well, and offhand, I don’t think I’ve read any.)

When I heard that Julia had written a book, too, I immediately thought about Louise Hay’s book. Which, interestingly enough, Julia tackles head-on within the first pages of her offering — this fact that so much is out there on this topic already. I found the mention humbling, if maybe not entirely sincere/authentic. After all, she is the daughter of someone who has made this her life’s work.

But honestly, it doesn’t really matter.

What matters to me, is that I actually enjoyed the book. It’s succinct, but it’s not an index of body parts and ailments like I thought it was. The chapters are divided into body systems, and the book describes, as a whole, what ailments in these areas mean. It also gives you layman’s understanding of these body systems, which I loved. As a massage therapist, anatomy is obviously very important.

There are a few things that didn’t sit well with me, though. For instance, she says Alzheimer’s is a way to extend life so you can give your family members more time to say goodbye to you. To this, I say nice try. Anyone who has dealt with this insidious disease would probably have issues with this assessment. I can see how someone may be so sad in how their life played out, they may in fact “check out” before their bodies give up. But nobody would deliberately drag their family members through that. My grandmother’s demise, via Alzheimer’s, was traumatizing to the entire family, and things happened that shook our family’s core and changed the direction of many lives because of it.

So… no.

This description also reminds me of the fine line practitioners have to walk in their assessments of other people, especially when we have no personal connections to the issue at hand. I can empathize all day with someone; but if it’s never happened to me, there is a level of understanding that I just can’t achieve for that other person.

Mostly, it doesn’t matter.

Other times, it’s a hurdle almost impossible to overcome.

The very end of the book does have an index of body parts and possible meanings. Jaw, throat, stomach issues are about the same as I’ve read before. Inability to speak your truth, or speaking your truth too loudly. Having problems digesting what’s going on in your life. Allergies are supposed to be from a past life — that doesn’t resonate with me so much. Asthma — someone or something crushing you, not giving you space — I suppose that could make sense. Elbow and arms — failure to embrace love.

There’s also an interesting section called The Process. She details simplistic instructions for how to heal yourself. Find a quiet space; figure out what’s ailing you; ask why; take steps to fix the why. It’s that easy.

(HA! If only!)

Both Hay and Cannon offer value and insight into this arena of health and healing. I can’t remember if Hay suggested that not all of her work may resonate with each person, but Cannon took the time to say she did not always understand what was being given to her to share.

As a reader, sometimes I’d like that conviction. Even though, as a practitioner, I live in the unknown all day long! Maybe that’s why I’d prefer this conviction somewhere else.

Interested in either one?

Louise Hay’s website is here.

Julia Cannon’s website is here.

Swell as He|| Homemade Granola — For Real

I just scoured other blogs of mine to see if I had ever made a granola-recipe post — and as it turns out, I have. However, I can see there are some differences between what I did before, and what I did *just today*, and I assure you, today’s recipe is FAR. MORE. SWELL.

I can’t say it’s the healthiest, but it has to be healthier than the ones in the grocery store. Right?

INGREDIENTS

4 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
1.5 cups of nuts, seeds, etc.
2/3 to 3/4 cups of dried fruit
1/2 cup melted coconut oil
1/2 cup maple syrup
a smattering of spices: nutmeg, allspice, cinnamon, etc.
some salt
topping of cacao nibs

INSTRUCTIONS

Crank that oven up to 350 degrees Fahrenheit!
Take a large cookie sheet (not a flat one) and line it with silicone.
Grab a bowl and combine oats, nuts, seeds, dried fruit, salt and spices.
- I layered it first before mixing it; first oats, the nuts and seeds, then the fruit, and then the spices and salt. I used allspice, cinnamon, cloves, orange zest and nutmeg on top of dried Montmorency cherries, blueberries, golden raisins, sunflower seeds and unsalted peanuts. I scooped the mixture up, around, down and beyond with a rice spatula to combine the dry ingredients.
Pour in oil, vanilla and maple syrup. Using the spatula, continue to mix it up! Make sure the oats are all covered with wetness and spices.
Take the oat mixture and spread it across the cookie sheet. Smooth it over with your spatula, trying to make it an even, thinnish layer. (About 1/4 thick.)
Place it in the oven, set your timer for 11 minutes. Take the mixture out, and mix it up and around and down and over on the cookie sheet. Please don’t burn yourself. Place it back in the oven for 10 minutes. Take the mixture out again, mix it up again, and then place it back inside the oven for another 11 minutes.
Remove it from the oven. If you’re adding cacao nibs, let it cool for about a minute or so before taking the nibs all across the layer, pressing them gently into the mixture with your spatula. It should not melt.
Let it cool completely before storing it. It should have pieces that break off in clumps, and a bunch of looser pieces. I used glass storage for my mixture and will *only* put it in my fridge if I feel like it’s losing some of its freshness. Otherwise, I’ll keep it tightly secured on my counter until the entire amount is eaten! The next time I make this mixture, I will be freezing some for future use.

You can also use coconut flakes, other types of nuts, chocolate, pepitas — choose your own adventure, every single time.

This granola is great for a snack, for mixing with yogurt, or for whatever you need it for.

Happy Munching!

I Tried QHHT, and This is How it Went

Let me preface this post with three words to describe me: heavily discerning skeptic. Or perhaps a healthy, discerning skeptic. I’m not quick to trust things just because of how amazing something sounds. I try things; if it works, fantastic. If it doesn’t, I didn’t lose anything but time. Maybe some money.

I’m in the woowoo field because it’s an external way for me to share my internal world. I guess. It’s not that far of a leap from who I was growing up, to who I am now. I was always intrigued by things I couldn’t fully understand, or things I couldn’t fully experience. ‘Daydreaming’ was a healthy part of my reality.

I grew up around people who believed in God, but didn’t believe in the other things they couldn’t see. So with a healthy, discerning eye, I began to explore all things God and beyond. First was through a relationship with nature; then academically in college (which I highly recommend); and then the rest came through real-world experience.

Over the years, I’ve had a lot of weird shit happen to me. I don’t let them define me, or rule me. They’re fun little antidotes for my memoir. (HA.HA.HA. Can’t wait, can you?)

I got hypnotized over ten years ago, because a fellow woowoo person had just studied how to do it. This was my introduction into being hypnotized. I didn’t really have anything I wanted to correct or fix; I just wanted to try it out, and help out a friend who needed to practice. It was fun, and weird, and to this day, I still haven’t listened to the recording of that experience.

But since I had Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT) performed on me (just yesterday!), I’ve found the old CD that session was recorded on, and I’m going to try to upload it to listen to it. What I remember from my original hypnosis was feeling this childlike happiness, but also being all alone and in the dark. Not scared, not sad, just alone.

I enjoyed it so much, however, that when I was attending massage school, I was hoping I could follow it with a hypnosis class to learn how to do it myself. (Alas, that did not happen.)

Fast forward ten years or so later, and my sister-in-law tells me about this hypnotherapy she was going to try out. And afterwards, she had had such an amazing experience, she wanted to share it with others by training to do it herself.

How was it different from the traditional (non-clinical) hypnotherapy I’d already had? Well, I still haven’t listened to my old recording, so this is going off of memory here, and my memory isn’t always that stellar. Both therapies relax you, both put you in a state of where your ego-mind takes a step back and allows another part of you to take over. It’s not scary; you’re fully in control, and you’re even more in control if you relax enough to witness what you “see” and “feel”.

From meditation and all of the inner work I’ve done (and the fact that I’m a fairly visual person, I suppose), this was not hard for me to tap into. The hardest part for me was to describe what it was that I was seeing when I was seeing things. Or it was hard to answer a question when there just wasn’t anything there, or there were emotions present, but it was hard to describe. I felt like language was my hurdle, not the process itself.

First, there’s an interview process between practitioner and client. After the interview, I was lead into relaxation (basically through a guided meditation). I was then asked to jump onto a cloud. (I had a little too much fun jumping on this cloud!) The cloud then, purportedly, took me back through time to another life. I saw the cracked dry earth, described my surroundings and shoes (archway on the left, ox in front of me with a cart). I was then moved forward in ‘time’ and asked to experience happy moments. I described what I saw. Then I was asked to visit the end of that particular person’s life.

After that, she brought me back to myself, and then asked questions about my current life. If there were answers, I gave them. From there, she asked permission for my higher self to do a body scan and then heal the problems I had.

Basically, that was it.

The difference between this session and my previous one–at least from what I remember–is that the previous one wasn’t as long as the QHHT one. Before, I didn’t deliberately tap into a “past life” to glean information from. It seems like that was the process for this experience. Previously I don’t remember asking questions about my current situation, and I definitely don’t remember asking for my higher self to heal a physical problem in my body.

So, if you have time (and money, I think it’s costly) and have an interest in past lives–do the QHHT. If you just want to experience hypnosis, find a regular ol’ hypnotist. From my understanding, there are many, many different types to choose from. Whichever one works best for you, I say, throw caution to the wind and just try it.

I don’t claim that what I saw was an actual past life. I don’t know. I have no proof. I don’t know why I saw what I saw. I know I saw the things I saw, and I know I felt real emotions in my real body when I was experiencing things that I saw in my mind’s eye.

I did in fact get some emotional and mental clarification. The biggest take home for me was assimilation. My logical mind doesn’t really care if I’m assimilating past lives, current life, planetary bullshit, holographic energies, whatever. My job is to assimilate all that I am and know, so that I can be of better service. Through providing bodywork, writing, talking, parenting, whatever. For myself, and for others.

I asked Siri to define assimilation for me. She showed me this:

assimilation — noun. 1. the process of taking in and fully understanding information or ideas. 2. the absorption and digestion of food or nutrients by the body or any biological system.
New Oxford American Dictionary

I have digestive issues. Boom.

There were other things, but one of the more notable moments happened to be funny. My “higher self” was having a good time at this point. I’ve had issues with my right foot. It’s off and on. It hurts, and walking/running makes it worse. It came on again late last fall, and it’s still bugging me now.

What did my higher self say about it?

It’s a running joke.

Wow. Double entendre for the astral plane/spirit world. WOW. 🤪🤪🤪